Freshman Again

Graduate school -- this is the extension of my college years.

Despite my doubts, I have officially decided to proceed to law school. In fact, I have already enlisted myself online, and with that, I'm happy to say that I only have 16 units this coming semester. That amounts to two subjects a day except on Fridays when I only have one. Based solely on the number of units, it would seem that this academic load is way lighter than the one I had during my BAA undergraduate years. But as far as word-of-mouth goes, this won't necessarily be the case.

I've heard several law school horror stories, and I believe some of them are true. A few could be exaggerated, maybe even made-up just to scare me. But for some reason, I am not intimidated by law school. It's not out of pride or anything, because as far as I'm concerned, the idea of going to school, not exactly to study law, relieves me more than it arouses feelings of academic pressure.

If there's one other place where I feel most at home, it would be UP Diliman. It was here that I built dreams, met friends, was humbled, cried and poured my heart and soul on things that I knew would either make or break me as a person. Here, I was never bothered by traffic or polluted city air or expensive lifestyle. In fact, I stayed in its dormitories for four years, paying very little for my lodging and nothing for my tuition fees. It was here that I literally ate, slept and studied. For quite some time, this was my whole world. Little though as it was, I was content.

As an alumna, all I feel for the university now is gratitude for everything it has given me. Of course, all the nice things I typed here might change once I'm in law school and I'm crying my heart out because of a bad recitation. When that time comes, I might think that the world has conspired against me, but let this post be a personal reminder to myself that the days I spent in UP were among the happiest. So there is absolutely no reason for me to sulk and be the drama queen I am likely to morph back into.

On a lighter note, I do hope to find new friends at Malcolm Hall, though it would still be sweet to occasionally annoy Bambi and Ate Anisah especially before their dreaded recitations (insert evil laugh here).

For reference to my future friends, I am in Block A and although we haven't officially met or got ourselves enrolled for that matter, we already have -- tantararan -- an assignment.

Looking for Juan: Everyday Filipino Heroes

Today I thought about ordinary people being heroes. I can't help it, the tarpaulins around the Academic Oval all had this singular theme. From Rizal's youth, to your average manong driver, the artworks illustrate that the idea of heroism can be stretched to include almost everyone.

As a project by the Center for Art, New Ventures and Sustainable Development (CANVAS), the idea is to put up outdoor banners that will send a collective message about everyone's role in free elections this May. The elections, as it is indirectly portrayed in the exhibit, is not about a search for heroes. The banners around the Academic Oval depict ordinary Filipinos -- policemen, parents, students, OFWs -- performing little acts of heroism. A heroism that doesn't anymore include martyrdom at Bagumbayan.

The national election is done as I type this, but these works of art still line the University’s Academic Oval today. At the end of the exhibition, it is said that the banners will be recycled and transformed into tote bags. Once sold, the proceeds will be given to selected charities and will also be used to support other initiatives that promote greater appreciation for Philippine art, culture and the environment.

Even if the grass in the Sunken Garden has turned brown this summer, looking at these banners felt like a breath of fresh air. Yet what I like most about this project is its message. Under the heat of the sun with papers on hand, it tells me that you and I, we can both be heroes.

(Outdoor banners of Everyday Filipino Heroes will be hanged on the light posts of the University of the Philippines Diliman only till May 31.)

Malcolm Hall

I went to get my admission slip from the UP College of Law last Friday. Coming from the Shopping Center, I took a longer route by entering through the front doors of Malcolm Hall. There, I was greeted no less than by the famous adage of Oliver Wendell Holmes. Massive, bold and chiseled to be the focal point of the building's interiors, it's one of those signs that were built to beg attention.

History has proven that this message is larger than itself. The business of a law school is to teach law in the grand manner. Perhaps it was this grand education that propelled the brilliance of many a nation's political figures, from the recent presidential candidates like Sec. Gilbert Teodoro and Senator Richard Gordon to the more rooted names which we memorized from our grade school history books. Names like Ninoy Aquino and Ferdinand Marcos. Whether they used their education for good or evil is another matter altogether but in the next month, I am to receive the same kind of education as them.

This begs the question as to why I will study law in the first place. Am I here to become a human rights activist, a professor, a tax adviser, a partner in a law firm, perhaps, a politician out to spend millions on election campaigns for a position which pays no more than Php 50,000? Blame it on an overdose of optimism, but I am picking the beauty pageant answer: that I am out here to change society, including my own self.

Pretentious as this might sound, I don’t blame you if you think I can’t do it. In a judiciary system as tainted as ours where laws are often played around technicality, who can change society anyway but the rich, the mighty and the powerful?

Even as I type this (pathetic) little declaration of hope, who knows what my future has in store for me? For all I care, I might end up as a power-hungry, money-grabbing technocrat who doesn’t give a damn for the concerns of the masses but prides herself instead with a law degree, gaining both criticism from her peers and acclaim from the petty relative who only has a fetish for titles (Atty. Engr. Dr.)

This is why I leave thinking about my future for tomorrow. I have actually taken up spontaneity as a new hobby. Because while I am thrown in disarray by the profundity of my questions, I still have to think about more practical and more short-term concerns regarding law school. Like getting my admission slip for instance.

If there was one thing I learned while working after graduation, it is that idealism can only get you so far. Knowing exactly what is out there arms you better than slipping off reality, dreaming of utopia.

Last Session: Free UPCAT Review

We had the last Math session for the Free UPCAT Review today. The kids were unusually quiet and partly restless since they had Science before me. I had to cram our discussion because we were running out of time and I was their last lecturer for the day.

I'm actually excited for the kids. I'm hoping that least eight of them will pass the UPCAT. Teaching them has been the only rewarding thing I did for society this summer. For all my mishaps and jumps in solutions, I hope they still learned something from me. I'm not a teacher by profession, but I subscribe to Keith's idea of balancing out the opportunities for the not-so-well-off kids who are smart and maybe even more brilliant than their wealthy counterparts.

So as the Free UPCAT Review ends and the countdown for the real UPCAT begins, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Good luck kids! I hope to see you around the campus next year. ;)

Free UPCAT Review

I was worried I would be fetched by an old priest and be forced to talk about my views on religion during our ride to where I was supposed to teach today. To my surprise, I met a fratman instead.

Keith Panganiban, a member of Alpha Phi Beta fraternity, looked like a boy my age and resembled nothing of the priest I had imagined. He took Political Science in UP Diliman and like me, he is also an incoming law student this June. The free UPCAT review is his brainchild and it amazes me how this one person established something I have always wanted to do but never had enough resolve to actually do it.

The kids at Camarin were boisterous, but in a good way. They reminded me of how I was in high school. Perhaps I was too lenient with them, but I never believed in stifling the voice of kids. Experience tells me that the noisy ones are usually the smart ones. So I had this noisy boy in the front row explain the solution to a factorial problem to his classmates and guess what, his answer was correct.

The view is different when you're behind the teacher's table. You see everything and everyone. The mini discussions when you turn and write on the chalkboard. The averted eyes of those who don't want to recite. The students who really answer the quizzes. Those who don't. And the blank stares when you utter gibberish like measures of central location. This must be why my mother loved teaching. It gives you a little taste of omnipotence. Hahahaha

So while I indulge on the thought of being an all-powerful teacher, here are some pictures from today's activity.

Gah! I seriously need to get my hair done.

Circles and Squares

Why am I so excited at teaching high school kids? I surprised myself this morning when I woke up and the first thing that entered my mind was geometry. Yes folks, circles, squares and the good old Pythagorean Theorem. I don't know how many questions will be allotted for geometry this year but I decided to teach this subtopic together with data analysis and basic statistics for this Saturday's Math class.

The idea of me standing next to a chalk board is a bit nerve-wracking. Not because I'm scared of a bunch of teenagers but because it would be weird being on the front end of the classroom as the teacher and not the student.

Age insecurities aside, I do like the idea of gathering UP Diliman graduates to help out kids who can't afford to enroll themselves on formal review centers in order to pass the UPCAT. Even though I don't believe a review is an absolute necessity for this objective, I subscribe to the idea of teaching willing kids in order to help them get into a good college.

I'm not exactly sure how the Camarin parish has gathered the students who will be taught but since it's my class and it's supposedly free for all, I would like to invite anyone interested for a Free UPCAT Review at Our Lady of Lourdes Parish, Camarin Caloocan this Satuday (May 1) afternoon from 1 to 4pm. The subject would be Mathematics.

If you have attended my friend Jill's class two weeks ago then I would presume you already received your advance homework. I emailed the questions last Monday so I'm expecting your solutions in class.

What Really Happens After Graduation

First of all, I'd like to say my congratulations to all the iskolars ng bayan who graduated yesterday. I know how it's like standing at the Amphitheater with the sun scorching its way to your very flesh and yet still feeling light and happy at the same time. That's graduation in UP Diliman. But what happens now? Where do you go from here?

From the back of Quezon Hall to the freshly mowed grass of the Amphitheater, everything was ceremonial the day I graduated.

I graduated exactly around this time one year ago. Wide-eyed and brimming with optimism, I was like any of the young, idealistic fresh grads from UP. I fought my way till the very end of my Terminal year and as I turned my sablay to the opposite direction, I thought I was armed and ready for the real world.

I thought I could get any job I wanted, so long as the other applicants aren't my own classmates. I thought the job I would get would be mentally challenging and professional. I thought I would end up with the kind of work that will give me opportunities for professional growth, economic stability and personal satisfaction.

Yet it wasn't like that. Not at all.

I was called an Associate on my first job. By description, I was supposed to make financial models and do valuations. I was given a 2-hour long problem asking me to come up with pro-forma financial statements and their analysis. I had four sets of interviews and the guess what, the only other applicants they considered were my own classmates. I had so much respect for the company as it has maintained a very good reputation in our college. In fact, most of the people who work there came from the same university as I did, which was all the more reason why I was so disappointed when it turned out that the job I had was never what I bargained for. To cut the long story short, I was never given any opportunity for professional growth. So I resigned.

Thinking back at it now, if there were certain things I should have done before accepting the job, I'd say I should have had every single task I would be asked to do enumerated in my employment contract before signing it. The fact that it says "The company reserves the right to require you to perform such other tasks and assignments, apart from those enumerated thereon, and to transfer or deputize you to the Company's other branches/offices, affiliates or to other available positions, as business exigencies dictate" is just not justified when all you actually do are just the other tasks and assignments.

I should have listened to Professor Terry Agustin when she told our class to pick the work that would provide us formal training. She said if you had training in a reputable company and if you were given the chance to better your profession, then you will be an indispensable asset in which ever firm you will go. And when you become indispensable, that's when the money will roll in. I now completelyI agree with her.

Of course, there's no sure way of landing the best job on your first attempt. In my case, I talked to some accounting professors in my college, talked to the other employees who also graduated from my school and I asked serious questions. I did everything except the two things I enumerated above. Yet obviously, I still ended up with a work I didn't like.

But all these are in the past now. What happened happened and whatever the future may bring, I will continue to stand on my principles. Even if the job pays well if it cannot give any form of professional growth and personal satisfaction then it's just not worth it. The thing employers should understand is the motive why job applicants seek the position they are applying for. Never mind the lack of overtime pay. Never mind the unexpected cultural barrier. Never mind the emails I have to answer at home during one in the morning. All I was really after was a work that would respect the soft, grey matter wrapped inside my skull.