Freshman Again

Graduate school -- this is the extension of my college years.

Despite my doubts, I have officially decided to proceed to law school. In fact, I have already enlisted myself online, and with that, I'm happy to say that I only have 16 units this coming semester. That amounts to two subjects a day except on Fridays when I only have one. Based solely on the number of units, it would seem that this academic load is way lighter than the one I had during my BAA undergraduate years. But as far as word-of-mouth goes, this won't necessarily be the case.

I've heard several law school horror stories, and I believe some of them are true. A few could be exaggerated, maybe even made-up just to scare me. But for some reason, I am not intimidated by law school. It's not out of pride or anything, because as far as I'm concerned, the idea of going to school, not exactly to study law, relieves me more than it arouses feelings of academic pressure.

If there's one other place where I feel most at home, it would be UP Diliman. It was here that I built dreams, met friends, was humbled, cried and poured my heart and soul on things that I knew would either make or break me as a person. Here, I was never bothered by traffic or polluted city air or expensive lifestyle. In fact, I stayed in its dormitories for four years, paying very little for my lodging and nothing for my tuition fees. It was here that I literally ate, slept and studied. For quite some time, this was my whole world. Little though as it was, I was content.

As an alumna, all I feel for the university now is gratitude for everything it has given me. Of course, all the nice things I typed here might change once I'm in law school and I'm crying my heart out because of a bad recitation. When that time comes, I might think that the world has conspired against me, but let this post be a personal reminder to myself that the days I spent in UP were among the happiest. So there is absolutely no reason for me to sulk and be the drama queen I am likely to morph back into.

On a lighter note, I do hope to find new friends at Malcolm Hall, though it would still be sweet to occasionally annoy Bambi and Ate Anisah especially before their dreaded recitations (insert evil laugh here).

For reference to my future friends, I am in Block A and although we haven't officially met or got ourselves enrolled for that matter, we already have -- tantararan -- an assignment.

Malcolm Hall

I went to get my admission slip from the UP College of Law last Friday. Coming from the Shopping Center, I took a longer route by entering through the front doors of Malcolm Hall. There, I was greeted no less than by the famous adage of Oliver Wendell Holmes. Massive, bold and chiseled to be the focal point of the building's interiors, it's one of those signs that were built to beg attention.

History has proven that this message is larger than itself. The business of a law school is to teach law in the grand manner. Perhaps it was this grand education that propelled the brilliance of many a nation's political figures, from the recent presidential candidates like Sec. Gilbert Teodoro and Senator Richard Gordon to the more rooted names which we memorized from our grade school history books. Names like Ninoy Aquino and Ferdinand Marcos. Whether they used their education for good or evil is another matter altogether but in the next month, I am to receive the same kind of education as them.

This begs the question as to why I will study law in the first place. Am I here to become a human rights activist, a professor, a tax adviser, a partner in a law firm, perhaps, a politician out to spend millions on election campaigns for a position which pays no more than Php 50,000? Blame it on an overdose of optimism, but I am picking the beauty pageant answer: that I am out here to change society, including my own self.

Pretentious as this might sound, I don’t blame you if you think I can’t do it. In a judiciary system as tainted as ours where laws are often played around technicality, who can change society anyway but the rich, the mighty and the powerful?

Even as I type this (pathetic) little declaration of hope, who knows what my future has in store for me? For all I care, I might end up as a power-hungry, money-grabbing technocrat who doesn’t give a damn for the concerns of the masses but prides herself instead with a law degree, gaining both criticism from her peers and acclaim from the petty relative who only has a fetish for titles (Atty. Engr. Dr.)

This is why I leave thinking about my future for tomorrow. I have actually taken up spontaneity as a new hobby. Because while I am thrown in disarray by the profundity of my questions, I still have to think about more practical and more short-term concerns regarding law school. Like getting my admission slip for instance.

If there was one thing I learned while working after graduation, it is that idealism can only get you so far. Knowing exactly what is out there arms you better than slipping off reality, dreaming of utopia.